All New

Swimmers Club

The pioneers of aviation were never lonely

Sunday, September 17, 2017


Who: Mujie Li
Where: Brighton, UK
What: Writer, Translator


Office Transparenter, Cool!


Awkward   distract     fussy             anxious

Hilarious    (mis)understand

Obsessive   hectic                        sleepy    imaginary


Season 1 Paper Work

Episode 1 Reading

Unreasonably short of vocabulary. Keep translating with brain. Look up to machine. Substream with J as response ending. Disregard to grammatical tone. Literally speaking. But, sorry for asking, why, isn’t, but, is that the reason…? Read sensitively, read slowly. Put lie, boast, empty verbiage to bed. Image uncomfortable thought.

Episode 2 Styling

Shame sublime, do not change font before reading. Format, one format, same formatting, my style. Wording to yourself. Promote signature of color. Divide unification for urgency. Pretend to intend. Grey header. Dream of naming. Layer slides.

Episode 3 Arranging

Address typo to abnormal. Keep filing with not knowing. Bewilder one email. Judge font, size and color, set to make neat laughter. Make keyboard wet and make mouse wet, make keyboard and mouse wet. Leak via transporting context (joking for instance). Reason classification. Multi-task concern. Stupefy during crash. Sequence coincidence selectively.

Episode 4 Responding

Cooperate conversation on question of typo. Thanks, many thanks, thanks much, thanks a lot, thanks a million, thanks always; thank you, thank you very much, thank you so much; appreciate, really appreciate, I really appreciate very much. Catch up key words in the middle of pop-up. Check unread chattings in the way of emailing. I’m ready are you ready? I’m ready are you ready? I’m ready are you ready? I’m ready are you ready? I’m ready are you ready? I’m ready are you ready? I’m ready are you ready? Multi-inter-face. Gossip intelligence. Thinking with no needs. Reply promptly. Loo upstair. Recreate font.

Episode 5 Copying

Input incorrect password three times. File files. Pop up new mail, pop up news. Catfish catfish. Accept signal after dialing after printing after typesetting. Imitate behavior of asset. Approximate meaning. Contaminate authority. Copy to; loop in. Do what is told.

Episode 6 Forwarding

Unable to recall. Let me finish this then go to toilet, go to get water, go to take pills. Pop up ad after starting up. Ninja’s freckle. Workaholics. Forward magazine at desk with key words underlined. Callback after missing call. Be effective with no sign. Concentrate on one interface at one time.

Episode 7 Printing

Print wrong direction out. I used to be fat. Economize two sides of paper. Algorithmize dating. Flatten digits. Solidify pranks. Make PC system default compatible. Iterate binding. Trigger emotion to postpone.

Episode 8 Folding

Expose face without makeup at dressing studio. I have to try at one time: Panini, spaghetti, carrot cake, avocado milk shake. Ring phones crossing desk partitions, circulate one hot song on TV with same frequency daily, vibrate mobiles, publicize voices during con-call. Treat couple. Digitize sound source. Encourage interpretation to break after-noon. Labour re-division at work. Lay perspectives on message. Nap on ping-pong table. Allow concepts to exclude.

Episode 9 Wrapping

See someone who is looking into the mirror by opening toilet door. Tidy your desk, place sunglasses properly. Reminder flickers to perform. Jazz the haunted. Staple after printing while emailing after answering the call. Social imaginary on structuring network in a linear way of lunch. Attach email thread. Weekday vocabularies cannot be spoken during weekend. Close notebook to cast body into screen. Approach without conscious.

Episode 10 Tearing

Excuse with no partners; promise unable to make. Breakfast buffet at Park Hyatt, Ritz Carlton for tea and afternoon, light food restaurant, healthier chains, global trend, organic, lamen, bibimbap. Detach. Guppies bubble. Hi there sorry I missed the call (comma). Micro-discuss. Please check, please confirm, please double check, please clarify. Laugh seriously. Excrete wi-fi at toilet. Hang ceramics to fish.


Season 2 Say Something Physically

Episode 1 Spontaneous

Hello, hi, can you hear me? Decaf with low fat milk. Simultaneously translate non-neutrality. Grow up, the explorer. Translate the unspoken. Associate with chat. Reply irrelevantly, reply without asking for clarification, reply with assumption. Prompt e-reply to meeting. Be sick in turn. You take care.

Episode 2 Soliloquy

Whoops. Clarify clarifications in paradigms and diagrams. Trance confronting with talking. Ex behind hidden camera. Set motion effects between slides. Picture traces of whiteboard so as to wipe text in email. Fail signal at faxing. Lunch at round table paralleling with that at long table. Unlimited run on TV on the wall. Hello thank you for your email I have limited access to email.

Episode 3 Voice message

Dial wrong extension. Please leave a message. Which button shall be pressed to delete? Oh My lady Gaga! Respond pathway. Auto-close communicator at startup. Multiply signs when conversation closes in emailing stream. Hack time when calling-in numbers are out of date. Set metadata to copy. Read titles profoundly.

Episode 4 Online

Do not pretend to think with your head that rises above desk partition. Speed engineering via bodies. Fingers detached, fingers embodied. (Fe)male code. Codify business units. Cult personality. Promote materials. Reformat sales deck. Advertise investment return. Set formula for budgeting.

Episode 5 Performance

Eh, pause, which is, pause, hmmm, pause, that is to say, uh, pause, how to put it. Stop tensing facial muscles up. Enclose zoology. Historicize the drunk. Handle conflict, communicating and listening. Mobile called from fixed lines outside working hour. Give feedback to machine. Inact time. Exhausted booked face. Project desirability.

Episode 6 No response

Mmh let my colleague explain, hello where are you now? Just follow up… Say yes or no on fixed line. Generation Cryo is pursuing sperm. React. Have a cigar at smoking corner, eyes contact to exchange some intelligence. Miss call. Decorate desk partition with branded posters. Present rights & clearances. Intellectualize properties.

Episode 7 Unknown object

Be awkward alone. Actualize inexperience. Too many medium. My unfabulous… Acknowledge process without knowing. Hand-on learning. Enable data to be incompatible between professional systems. Getting to know. Demolish passion. Be projective.

Episode 8 The order

How embarrassing! Keep posted; on the same page. Forward efficiently. A shot at the one. Keep the boundary of every email body, and reply politely. Fuss opportunities. Apply loading to saving. Selectively inform. Yawn room out at small conference. Download substance from cloud.

Episode 9 Think softly

Structuralize error. Irritate irritations. Follow the logic of sensation. Storyteller: tits unplugged. Be flexible on matters. Be feasible on shitty solutions. Order one hard copy to catch. Order commands. No space for day-dream. Spacialize for walking.

Episode 10 Disconnect

Pay extreme attention on detail. Statement in terms of whom. Right here right now. Crib husband. Make table in slide, and word. Put on earphone while con-call, and fart speech. Sorry I don’t know I don’t understand. Soho half-day due to nets overhaul. Overbooked sets of working meals.


Season 3 Round Table

Episode 1 Stream

Stream out of bed. Web to Halloween. Stretch nose, ears, jaw, and fingers. Vitamin E My Ass! Detach eye from excel to join the call to release another ear to hand on consumer products to digitize music video. Be present in order to give. Turn back on desk from round table. Leadership descends, be affective. Shadow computer interface. Drink water together with the green table plant.

Episode 2 Loop

There are too many cookies in the computer I use. Kidney deposits. Bring pets to family day. Broad park, south city. Regain extra-hour job from labor’s day. Look back to new year at Christmas eve party. Patch mobiles and fix lines at big conference room. Keep looping in, and keep mediate. Paint a cake to drive hunger away. Copy patterns to drive.

Episode 3 Spreadsheet

Inattention on the invisible. Impress number without formula. Call out of calculation. Legend of, steamed sponge cake with pants. Raise with relevant matters. Create chat. Orient objective. Identify exclusive discussions. Grid distributions. Cross-tab run.

Episode 4 Small conference room

Delay from line signal. Keep negotiating, and keep mediating. Keep pen revolving between fingers. Amplify excitement via distanciating body from speaker. Do things while listening, looking, speaking. Show signatures, show memorial photos. Interpret interruptions. Close the door. Re-move the chair. FYI.

Episode 5 Desk

Lay dust and clean alongside edges. Remove objects and clean. Place cosmetics in front of stationary. Bikini burger. Eat while key in. Keep communicating with next desk. Hide residues in the drawer at the bottom. Arrange paper copies with no organization. Put feet on swivel chair to index. Cast upperbody into cybernetics.

Episode 6 Long table

Row queue. Pretend to listen. What is the weather outside? Mouths drag cheese. Keep holding laptop. Mobilize lunch time, assemble mouths. Clarify in a secondary chatting way with no conscious. Do training so as to position. Nutritionalize meal in order to be sleepy. Storm brain and behave creative.

Episode 7 Con-call

Fail to patch lines. Weekly, monthly, quarterly; E1, E2, E3. Be quiet after calling in. How are you? Not bad; thanks, bye. Appointment divides calendar into partitions. Exclude me. Mix accent into context. Tune anxiety in. Press mute. Imagine actions by voice.

Episode 8 Working lunch

Chew sounds of chewing. Clean lunch set field. Distract between eating and listening. Quacker breadwinner. Cast an arc of pizza by means of casting an arc from table to desk. Eat fuss up. Drink socially. Inquire intention. Control appetite. Print pirated painting out.

Episode 9 Smoking corner

Behave out of fashion. Send email first, secondly dial extension. Follow threads of smoke and wait. Amigo san diego. In a fever. Leak lies by gestures. Body contact. Keep talking while burning. Instrumentalize refreshing. Supply image of minds.

Episode 10 Round table

Shoe to shoe. Imply option. Revolve on chair. Shoot funny movements. Occupy lunch time to work. Do not show suspicion by opening eyes. Asked about, questioned. Surplus actions. Remove lunch sets and replace with arms. Brainstream.


Mujie Li is author of Mirage Time due out in Autumn 2017 from Dostoyevsky Wannabe

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